Ours Triggers Need to be Surrendered

As moms, we naturally wear many hats; cook, chauffeur, home organizer, timekeeper, peacekeeper, counsellor, motivator… and the list goes on.

Recently, when my eldest turned 10, I decided to put on a new hat: tutor. I was confident I had the knowledge to help her with her school subjects. What I didn’t realize was that knowledge alone doesn’t equal aptitude.

As the days went by, my patience grew thinner, my voice grew louder, and irritation quickly turned into frustration. To my great shame, I became a monster mom. There were moments when it felt like all nine fruit of the Spirit had completely abandoned me. Not one fruit left in me.

Revision time every night became stressful for both my daughter and me. I realized it had become a trigger for me.

Something had to change. We couldn’t go on like this.

So, I apologized to her and promised to be a calmer tutor. The look on her face told me she wasn’t convinced.

That night, I prayed, specifically for just three fruit of the Spirit: self-control, patience, and kindness. I was desperate enough to cling to just these three.

And at the start of every session, I prayed for just these three fruit of the Spirit. The days that followed were better than I could have imagined. Our revision sessions became calmer, lighter, even enjoyable. We shared many peaceful and meaningful moments as she prepared for her exams.

We are not perfect moms. There are moments when we’re triggered, when we react impulsively, emotionally, even angrily. But often, the very things that trigger us are the things God is inviting us to surrender to Him.

So, here’s my challenge to fellow moms: don’t run from your triggers. Face them. Bring them honestly before God. Name them. Surrender them. Ask Him for the fruit you lack in that moment.

As Scripture reminds us:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
Galatians 5:22–23

When we lay our triggers at His feet, He doesn’t shame us. He transforms us. And in the very areas where we feel weakest, His grace shows up strongest – because His strength is made perfect in our weakness.

But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9